Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
