I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i think my mom watched the whole time
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
