We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
