It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Randomize
