guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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