i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
