That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Found your dick twin last night
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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