Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
