Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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