Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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