I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
