I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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