Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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