high people should be assigned attendants
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
