so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
