he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Randomize
