I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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