rhymes with "ouble enetration"
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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