she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
