I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
