DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
ok first of all what the fuck
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize