Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
