well you can't waste a boner
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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