Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
