haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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