So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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