She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
why do cheetos always look like penises
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
