Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
