you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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