you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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