Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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