dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
