Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
