Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
