I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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