My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
