There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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