no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
