Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
