i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
