I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
