I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
do herpes really smell.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
