Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Holy shit dude........stairs
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize