It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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