guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
