For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
