oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
