You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
