Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
