I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
