just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
