I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
