I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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