The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
