Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
