he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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