Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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