oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
