I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Boobs speak an international language.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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