if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
