just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
