So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
