She is in my trunk
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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