I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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