whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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