Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
